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11 February 2009 @ 05:19 pm
Lesson Number One: Suit Up!  
Clothes. They give you the edge and the power of who you are.
I am awesome, that's why I wear suits.
Or do I wear suits and that's why I'm awesome?
For me it works either way.
For you.... well, let this be our first and most important lesson dear chicas and hombros:

Lesson Numero Uno: Suit Up!

Suits are cool. Exhibit A:
*

And if you don't believe me, here's exhibit B:
*

You can...

... Flight-Suit Up!, Snow-Suit Up!,...

... Penguin-Suit Up!, St. Barney's-Day-Suit Up!,...

... Birthday-Suit Up!

Just Suit Up!


Even this guy, who is a total stranger to me, scores when he Suits Up!

(Sidebar: Whoever that total stranger might be, he should listen to his best friend and Suit Up! more often.)

Let me show you two other exhibits.
Two total strangers, whom I've never met before in my life, as the best example why not-Suiting Up! is the stupidest thing you could ever do.


Do you see why that first guy would never in the world score a girl? Let me tell you:
Apart from the fact that his best friend is the awesomest, most best-lookingest, greatest guy ever, his best friend is also always Suiting Up! and thus, naturally, scores before the dude with the funny hat and the painted pants. (before, more often, and more awesome... what up!)
Because chicks love suits!
Hombros, a las chicas le gustan los trajes!

In a suit, you are dressed to kill at all times, like a shark.
You are able to go from a business meeting to the hottest club or the fanciest restaurant and make an impression everywhere.

Plus, a suit sells any story to the chicks, from ex-NFL player who unfortunately can't play anymore because he hurt himself while saving a kitty from a tree, over the widower who feels sad and alone on his ex-wife's death anniversary, down to the ghost of a soldier that has just died in war and came back for one night just to spend it with the most beautiful girl on planet earth. (©The Barnacle, only to be used by fellow bros)
No matter who you are pretending to be, you will always be dressed appropriately.

But, there's one occasion on which you don't Suit-Up!: at funerals.
Not at other people's funerals, not at your own. (On one hand an open bar for your fellow sex, on the other hand an open casket for the opposite sex... trust me, it's gonna be awesome!)
Suits are made for the living!

They make you feel good about yourself. They make you happy. They are full of joy.
They are the sartorial** equivalent of a baby's smile. (Except if the baby's called Barney Stinson, even a suit can't compare to that... What up!)

But really, think about it.
Marc Jacobs, Prada, Dolce & Gabana, Paul Smith... you can pick whichever you like and it will make you look and most importantly feel like a modern day Rat Packer. A suit can make you a part of the history of our glorious country.
And unlike Franky, Sammy and Dean, you get to embrace colors and patterns they never even got around to.

So go, no run to your tailor of trust, buy a suit, get a free rabbit, and Suit Up!!

Yours Awesome
Not-Barney-Stinson
(but I hear that guy's awesome)


*many thanks to the MOMS: Museum of Modern Suits for allowing these portraits to be presented here.
** of, or pertaining to, tailors or their trade
 
 
 
littlesarahlost: HIMYM Barneylittlesarahlost on February 11th, 2009 05:13 pm (UTC)
See icon. What up!

My favourite is the Penguin suit-up!


Really: You totally nailed the essence of Barney Stinson :)

Edited at 2009-02-11 05:14 pm (UTC)
Bibi [/Blocksberg]: nph->himym.hfiveasolitaryraven on February 11th, 2009 05:19 pm (UTC)
Thank you soo much for saying that! =D *high fives*
I think the penguin's my favourite too, he's just too cute in the costume/suit. ^.^
Veronica: [himym_barney] s2: it's going to beveronica_a on February 11th, 2009 05:46 pm (UTC)
Wow, this is AWESOME!
Totally saving to my memo..wait for it...ries! (yeah, that was lame, I know. You are much better Not-Barney-Stinson:D)
Bibi [/Blocksberg]: nph->himym.awfsomeasolitaryraven on February 11th, 2009 05:53 pm (UTC)
Thank you soo much! =D
And that was NOT lame. You're legen.... waaaaait for it... dary! Legendary! *points at your icon* ;)
(Deleted comment)
Bibi [/Blocksberg]: nph->himym.whatupasolitaryraven on February 11th, 2009 08:17 pm (UTC)
Thanks sooo much!! =D
And tear of awesomness?? Really??? *blushes* ^.^
idioticonion: HIMYM Awesometownidioticonion on February 14th, 2009 02:23 am (UTC)
Wow! What they all said! What ^!
Bibi [/Blocksberg]: nph->himym.whatupasolitaryraven on February 14th, 2009 03:07 pm (UTC)
Thanks soo much! =D You're the first one not from my f-list who's read it and says so, so that definitely has to mean something. ;)
idioticonion: HIMYM Barney Hair Nomidioticonion on February 14th, 2009 03:19 pm (UTC)
Really? Well, that's because I'm awesome! ;-)

seriously though, I enjoyed both blogs so far and want more. You clever, clever person, you!
Bibi [/Blocksberg]: nph->himym.awfsomeasolitaryraven on February 14th, 2009 03:43 pm (UTC)
Nope, it's because you're awesomexawesome... awesome²! ;D
Really, thank you so so much! I didn't really want to post it somewhere outside my flist because I'm never convinced enough of my own stuff... but then again it makes me 83times as happy to read that some people actually like it... so thanks again! =D
And I promise there's a lot more where that came from, but I guess you know that, because you know Barney. ;)
idioticonion: HIMYM What up animidioticonion on February 14th, 2009 03:51 pm (UTC)
I'd like to *know* Barney.

What up!

But seriously, there's so much you can do. There are bro code articles just crying out for some eplanation! As well as a tonne of stuff on his CBS blog that needs expanding!
Bibi [/Blocksberg]: nph->himym.hfiveasolitaryraven on February 14th, 2009 04:11 pm (UTC)
I guess that could be easily arranged... though you would have to apply for a visa first... ;)

Yeah, some of those are definitely on my list, and I also went through the whole HIMYM wikiquote section and let's face it, Barney is a babbling fountain of inspiration for things like this. ^.^