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18 February 2009 @ 02:33 pm
In addition to last weeks history lesson, a little piece of information:
Prostitution is the world's oldest profession. True story.

Now, hold on to your bedsores grandparents of Willy Wonka
because the Wonkavator is going to take us to the next level.
The tricycle. the devil's threeway of our course, or merely:

Third time's the charm: Rut-Busters!

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13 February 2009 @ 01:20 am
I hope you Suited Up!!
If not, the lessons are over for you now! Over!
But if you've Suited Up!, I'm very proud of you! High five!
A little additional information to lesson number one for you:
Porcelain keeps the suit from wrinkling. True story.

Now, watch your step when you get up kids, 'cause I'm about to drop some serious knowledge.
Think of what is to come as a lesson on the history and the laws of awesomeness.

Lesson Number Two: Barney's razor

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11 February 2009 @ 05:19 pm
Clothes. They give you the edge and the power of who you are.
I am awesome, that's why I wear suits.
Or do I wear suits and that's why I'm awesome?
For me it works either way.
For you.... well, let this be our first and most important lesson dear chicas and hombros:

Lesson Numero Uno: Suit Up!
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09 February 2009 @ 10:04 pm
Prepare yourself, ladies and bros because here it comes.
Here's the mini cherry on top of the regular cherry, on top of the sundae of awesome that is my life, and will soon be your life.

While I was out awesomming all over the place, as usual, I received an order, no no no... a mission from the man above! (and by that I mean the guy who's name a lot of girls call out because of me. Awesome!)
I am going to show you, yes you!, how to live!

Not everyone rises at his birth like a phoenix from the ashes and stands Armani-clad and fully awesome like me.
There are many poor and unfortunate people, like you, who have been living their whole life in a seat-belt, but now it's finally time to unclick!

Do you know what's in the back of your brain, behind the curtain in a dark little room secretly controlling your every move? ... a little Barney!
So embrace him, embrace your inner Barney and start living life the Stinson-Way!

Oh, and don't be disappointed if you can't be as awesome as Barney Stinson, and you might not get the slot of “Vice-President of Awesome”, but you also wouldn't call the NFL and ask them to be quarterback next Sunday, right?

But, take my advice, by heart, and you will, today already!, be more awesome than the “Assistant Under-Secretary of Only Okay”.

Yours Awesome
(but I hear that guy's awesome!) 
Stay tuned for
Lesson Nr. 1:
Suit Up!
Lesson Nr. 2:
Barney's Razor